The Offside Schedule Annoucement

I co-host a radio show if you didn’t know already.

If you did know, then you must absoulutly be DYING to know what time The Offside (with Carlos Rodriguez) is on… like… you literally haven’t been sleeping because you want to hear my beautiful voice spouting brilliant and thoughtful knowledge on everything but soccer.

Don’t worry though, you can finally stop chewing on tables now because we have our time.

SHOW PREMIERE!

2 weeks from now

Monday

8am

I’ll figure out a prize for someone who calls for the show… see you guys bright and early.

The Sportscenter Drinking Game (Best Played in August/September)

Let me preface this by saying I, in no way, am responsible for the playing of this game and I am not liable for any of the following

• Drunkenness that results from this game
• Hangovers that result from this game
• Bad beer-googled hookups that result from this game
• Any police trouble you may come across
• Anything that has to do with drinking pretty much

If you are underage, replace this with soy milk, or something gross. Now buckle up, cuz Sportscenter is an hour long….

Oh and by the way, I love ESPN.

Take a drink/sip

• If someone attractive is at the anchor desk.
• If any of stories has to do with New York
• If anyone says Lebron James or Tim Tebow or Andrew Luck or Kobe
• Whenever any of the anchors go into a segment with a pun
• Whenever anyone references Twitter
• If a formerly popular athlete is in a suit on camera
• Whenever anyone asks “Are the ________’s finished/slumping/whatever means done with”
• Whenever the fantasy experts are on screen
• Whenever there is more time spent on the NFL than the MLB
• When Herm Edwards makes his co-anchor laugh
• Whenever someone mentions Joe Paterno
• Whenever someone is shown getting rocked in football

Finish your cup/shot

• If NASCAR or tennis is mentioned
• If the What 2 Watch 4 game sounds boring
• If Rachael Nichols comes up on camera
• If anyone messes up their lines
• If the #1 Top Play isn’t as awesome as any thing below it
• Whenever a male anchor says something creepy to a female anchor
• If anyone wishes Happy Birthday to someone other than Kobe, Jeremy Lin or Tebow
• If any game recap leaves out plays by the losing team “If the Cubs are playing the Brewers and you dont see hits by the Cubs”
• Whenever ESPN goes super off topic with random facts
• Whenever anyone mentions someone not on the Nationals

Finish 2 cups/chug

• If the NHL is mentioned without mention of Sidney Crosby or Ovechkin
• If the English Premier League has a segment not in the Top Ten Plays
• If anyone says anything bad about Tim Tebow other than Steven A Smith
• If anyone says the Cowboys will make the playoffs
• If a commercial takes out the info bar on the bottom of the screen
• If any of the anchors references Northwestern University
• If anyone covers skateboarding or X Games related things
• When there is coverage on an NBA team that isn’t good

Instant game over

• If there’s MLS footage anywhere
• If someone from a blog is a guest caller
• If there’s UFC coverage

Conclusion

Seriously, don’t get me if you don’t have fun or something during this game. Im disappointed nobody said the secret word from the last post as well…

And don’t worry, actual analytic stuff tomorrow.

Tweet @JakePayneSports

NFL Team Goals and Fears for the 2012 Season

The NFL season is almost here, rejoice!

If me coming back doesn’t make you rejoice, at least the upcoming fun will.

Every team is going into this season with something they want to work for, some kind of goals that they want to achieve this year. While some probably have a page long goal list, I will try to condense every teams goals in to one sentence, as well as their fears.

PS: This is strangely familiar to something I did before… isn’t it… https://jakepaynesports.wordpress.com/2012/02/22/mlb-team-one-sentence-goals-and-wishes/

The NFL

Goal: Disregard Cheerleaders, Acquire National Television Contracts

Fear: Hopefully the refs break soon… these refs are… less than adequate…

Arizona Cardinals

Goal: Lets try to keep people from laughing when we say we were in the Super Bowl three years ago by doing well!

Fear: We are ever playing Jerome Simpson again… please say no…

Atlanta Falcons

Goal: Lets win a postseason game!

Fear: What if we don’t get to the postseason…

Baltimore Ravens

Goal: Lets get to the Super Bowl on the back of our running back and defense!

Fear: Lets hope we don’t have to hop on our skateboarding quarterback’s back to get there…

Buffalo Bills

Goal: Lets actually keep a winning streak going to the end of the season!

Fear: Nobody get injured please… especially you Fred Jackson…

Carolina Panthers

Goal: Lets shock the world and win our division!

Fear: We just looked up the sophomore slump… Cam Newton we are looking at you bud…

Chicago Bears

Goal: Lets get to the Super Bowl! We have all the parts!

Fear: Our offensive line can block like a sheet of paper can block rocks…

Cincinnati Bengals

Goal: Lets build on last years success with Andy Dalton and AJ Green!

Fear: What if our starters don’t make it out of the preseason alive…

Cleveland Browns

Goal: Lets make it to the end of the season without crying!

Fear: What if we have to find another QB…

Dallas Cowboys

Goal: Lets build on Romo’s apparent confidence and actually use our talent!

Fear: What division are we in again? Oh….

Denver Broncos

Goal: Lets get behind our new and legendary quarterback Peyton Manning!

Fear: We actually cry uncontrollably when we look at our schedule…

Detroit Lions

Goal: Lets continue our success from last year! Stafford, Johnson and our defense worked wonders!

Fear: We can only keep paying the witch doctors that are keeping Stafford from getting injured for so long… especially now that we have the Madden curse.

Green Bay Packers

Goal: Lets avenge our playoff death and ravage the lands with Aaron Rodgers at the helm of the machine.

Fear: Our defensive players keep eating crayons… they don’t want to play until they get their juice boxes…

Houston Texans

Goal: Lets take advantage of our less than awesome division and get back to the playoffs!

Fear: Don’t stare at Andre Johnson too long, he’ll tear something…

Indianapolis Colts

Goal: Let’s build Andrew luck up into a star!

Fear: It’s really cold in here without Peyton Manning…

Jacksonville Jaguars

Goal: We have some good wide receivers and stuff…

Fear: We did the research and our new owner is actually serious… he doesn’t want to sign MJD…

Kansas City Chiefs

Goal: We have a much improved offense and a pretty good defense!

Fear: If Oakland or Denver does well… we are screwed…

Miami Dolphins

Goal: We will probably do ok with either Tannehill or Moore!

Fear: What if the Bills and Patriots do that scary thing where they throw the ball in the air and run really fast…

Minnesota Vikings

Goal: Lets try to atleast get fourth in the NFC North!

Fear: What do you mean there’s only four spots in our division…

New England Patriots

Goal: Super Bowl or bust!

Fear: What if those scary guys with the NY on their blue helmets play us again…

New Orleans Saints

Goal: Win the division and achieve glory!

Fear: Payton isn’t calling the plays, so the owners son is making our playbook on NFL Blitz 98…

New York Giants

Goal: Repeat and draw the attention off of those damned Jets!

Fear: Our players love getting injured…

New  York Jets

Goal: Revel in the attention from having Tebow!

Fear: We are more than just Tebow… right?

Oakland Raiders

Goal: Win the division, we can take advantage of Denver and KC’s hard times!

Fear: What if Carson Palmer gets senile again like last year… and what if we have to go to court because our fans keep getting in law trouble…

Philadelphia Eagles

Goal: Get to the playoffs! We have the team that could go all the way!

Fear: The team doctor told the team that Vick is made out of tissue paper and glass…

Pittsburgh Steelers

Goal: Make it alive out of our division!

Fear: Our division is tough… except for the Browns lol

Saint Louis Rams

Goal: Take advantage of having a legit coach in Mike Fisher!

Fear: We still suck though…

San Diego Chargers

Goal: We gave Philip Rivers smelling salts! Our offense can finally wake up now!

Fear: Most of our team is made out of hardened clay…

San Francisco 49ers

Goal: Get to the Super Bowl! We could totally do it!

Fear: What if Alex Smith starts throwing to his imaginary friends again…

Seattle Seahawks

Goal: Look fabulous in our new jerseys! What swag we has!

Fear: What if we don’t play as good as we look…

Tampa Bay Bucs

Goal: Surprise everyone!

Fear: The NFC South is really mean… they never let us win…

Tennessee Titans

Goal: Build the franchise behind Jake Locker!

Fear: Mike Fisher is gone…. now what…

Washington Redskins

Goal: Do big things with RGIII!

Fear: People think he’s like Cam Newton? This isn’t going to end well…

Conclusion

“Jake Payne is swagnificent”

If you tweet this line @JakePayneSports, put it on a comment on this article or message me on Facebook with it, you will be entered to win a Jake Payne Sports autograph, a famous Jake Payne nickname and a bottle of water!

Also stay tuned for the updated times of The Offside on Radio DePaul.

Round 3 Quick Predictions

Rangers vs Devils

Rangers in 6

Kings vs Coyotes

Kings in 7

Round 2 Quick Predictions

Preds vs. Coyotes

Preds in 6

Caps vs. Rangers

Rangers in 7

Kings vs Blues

Blues in 6

Devils vs Flyers

Flyers in 5

 

Blackhawks 2011-2012 Season Eulogy/Summary

What started off so well, ended so badly. A season started by being on top, ended with a shutout elimination on home ice in round 1 of the playoffs…

It seemed in the beginning that this would be an amazing year. The Blackhawks were off the Stanley Cup hangover, we were going into the season with a promising young goalie, and we had some new faces that would show us the way. Names like Mayers, Carcillo and Leddy would be people who could support the star studded front line, while Emery would be the veteran backup needed to make sure Crawford gets his rest.

The Hawks gave us a hell of a start also. Goals upon goals, a feisiness that nobody could answer, the Blackhawks were never really out of a game. They didn’t lose more than three games at a time, Toews was making a wild splash across the leagues as his name graced trophy predictions such as the Hart Memorial Trophy and the Art Ross. Sure things weren’t perfect, the drama of who would lead the teams goaltending was apparent, the power play and power kill was atrocious at best, Kane having a very cold streak at some points; but it seemed like minor problems that wouldn’t hurt the team at all. Hope was very prominent for the Blackhawks.

Seriously, with Kane’s memorable spin-o-rama pass to Hossa against the Ducks and his shootout stunner against the Wild; and the explosiveness of the offense as well as the promise of having two decent goalies, what could go wrong? The year 2012 is what could go wrong.

The Stanley Cup hangover that the Blackhawks had was seemingly gained back from the Hawks drinking too much on New Years Eve. They started out the year with Daniel Carcillo getting injured, who was a big part of the team’s physicality. On top of that, it started a four game slide to start off the New Year. It was no big deal though, they won the next few games and got a few new faces such as Andrew Shaw, who made a memorable first impression against the Flyers. The few 2nd and 3rd liners who were supposed to make an impression began showing up as scratches, but the people replacing them such as Hayes and others were good replacements. All the Hawks had to do was just keep on trucking through the last 3 months.

And then they went on the road trip.

After losing two to the Preds before the All-Star break, the Blackhawks proceeded to play the worst hockey any fan could even imagine them playing. It was more than just a scoreboard thing, it was an energy crisis. The Blackhawks were playing some very uninspired hockey, they made stupid turnovers after stupid turnovers, they couldn’t get a solid goaltending job out of either of their goalies, they didn’t take chances when they were basically given to them. Then there was the obvious 0-24 power play goals that were scored on the road trip. It just seemed like the world was collapsing somewhere in Chicago.

They played semi-inspired hockey for the rest of the season, even without the loss of Jonathan Toews. However, by then, the rest of the league was just finishing up with their winning streaks and showing their determination to win. Teams like the Canucks, the Blues, and the Predators climbed in the rankings as the Blackhawks fell down. Even worse news was that the Pacific Division was fighting out for spots, and they were threatening to shoot rocks at the glass ceiling that the Blackhawks were napping on. From the road trip on, the Blackhawks had no margin for error; if they didn’t play the hockey that they were playing in the beginning, they would find themselves out of the playoffs for the first time in 5 years.

Even as the regular season came to a close, it went out with many doubts. Jonathan Toews still hadn’t returned, the goaltending continued to be in question, and that cursed special teams continued to mess up. Blackhawks fans showed hope though. The team had hung on to a 6th spot, and were facing the Pacific Division winning Phoenix Coyotes. They hoped that the past wouldn’t be a repeat, seeing as they only beat them once…which was conveniently at the beginning of the season. Could the Blackhawks of old return to defeat a foe that seemed incredibly hard to beat during the regular season?

As the postseason started, the return of Toews was comforting, especially after he scored the first goal in the series. Yet nothing else seemed comforting for the rest of the series. The Blackhawks showed promise early in games, but would forget what sport they were in until about 30 seconds were left in the 3rd period. They didn’t convert chances, even when the Coyotes gave it too them. They didn’t grab the momentum, even when the Coyotes gave it away. And worst of all, they didn’t score on the cursed power play. Sure they put it into overtime many a times, even when the odds were against them. but they always seemed shocked to see the clock go back to 20 minutes. They dragged their feet, while the Coyotes realized that they would fight out those 20 minutes.

Things also went south and in bad taste after Andrew Shaw was ejected from Game 2 after a head to head collision behind the net which Blackhawks fans argued was a flop, things went to Australia after Raffi Torres ran his shoulder into Marian Hossa’s jaw and took him out of the series and possibly more. Yet the Blackhawks did not put any of these logs in their fire. They seemed more focus on the fact that a pawn like Raffi Torres took out their rook in Marian Hossa. While the fans organized a “Win It For Hossa” movement, the Blackhawks seemingly choose to let the Coyotes “Win It For Torres”.

Yet nothing could have shown the lack of presence the Blackhawks had than their ending note. In their home stadium, with some of the most supportive fans in hockey filling the arena, they were shutout and eliminated. Chance after chance, they failed to convert, while the Coyotes got few chances but they were some of the most well executed chances that could be played..  The Blackhawks ended their run with a shocked fanbase, a pathetic showing and a question. What happened?

Despite how the Blackhawks were the poster child of falling for grace, the positives cannot be overlooked. They carried on well without their captain, they overcame the abysmal road trip (which trust me, could have gone worse than it did), and they showed the fanbase that the reserves that are training  in Rockford are nothing to look past. It’s not like the Blackhawks had a Blue Jackets kind of season either, any time a team is at the top, it is something to be proud of. Even more special is the fan base itself, which never gave up hope and continued to fill the United Center at every chance.

So while the season may have ended with a bitter taste in our mouths, do not blame the players or coaching. One person does not lose a playoff series, nor does one person win it. The better team won, their first franchise playoff series win even, so leave it at that and don’t look like the sore losers that you accuse Vancouver of being. Cry it out, and then watch some baseball. It’ll be hard not seeing the Blackhawks get that cup, but this fanbase lived 48 years without seeing it. I think two years without the Cup isn’t going to hurt anyone.

The Dem Bones of Dirty Plays: Using Your Body to Hurt

Hurting With the Head Bone: Zinedine Zidane

When someone is making fun of you, or allegedly insulting your sister, tell them that you will headbutt them in the chest. I guarantee you they will stop.

In fact, I’m sure if Zidane had told Marco Materazzi that he was going to headbutt him, that whole fiasco would have never happened. I mean, who is so crazy, that they won’t even send brain signals to their legs and hands in order to hurt me? Who is so crazy, that they choose extra time in the WORLD CUP FINALS to headbutt me not in the face, but the chest? Who? Who other than Zidane?

Hurting with the Shoulder Bone: Raffi Torres

Raffi Torres loves his shoulder bone. He goes on dates with it, he writes it love songs, he even will name his children after it.

Torres has an impressive resume of using his shoulder to hurt people, his most recent addition was his hit on Marian Hossa. While that got a lot of press, that was for sure not his worst hit, which is why I put his Brent Seabrook hit up.

I won’t talk much more of Raffi Torres’ shoulder bone. He is very protective of it and could come to hurt me… and I certainly do not want to meet his shoulder bone.

Hurting with the Elbow Bone: Metta World Peace

When you hear Metta World Peace, if your first thought is a blond hippy girl who leaves in a tree trunk drinking honey mixed with muddy rain water and wears nothing but leaves tapped onto her body with tree sap, I don’t at all blame you.

Whoever, the famous Metta World Peace doesn’t do a whole lot of things that’s very peaceful. The man Falcon Elbowed James Harden in the head for really no apparent reason. Yet that is generally the story with Metta World Peace.

He’ll sink a full court buzzer beater to amaze people, but then he’ll punt a puppy across the Staples Center and into a bus full of wolves to make everyone mad at him within seconds of his accomplishment.

Hurting with the Hand Bone: Hockey

http://www.hockeyfights.com/

A hockey fight is the ultimate sacrifice of the hand bone.

Generally, hockey players who are caught in a fight are too caught up to remove their rock hard helmets. Generally people’s faces aren’t exactly soft either.

Sure it is very enjoyable for the people who don’t have to smash their hand on someone’s helmet. As for the players, after the adrenaline’s all gone, they are left with a 5 or 10 minute penalty and a possibly broken hand.

However, sometimes the hand hurts less than say… someone’s nose. Even worse is losing a fight, because you break the one bone that you can never fully repair… your confidence bone.

Oh and if you love hockey fights, I just gave you a lifetime Christmas present with hockeyfights.com. Literally days of hockey fights on that website.

Hurting with the Knee Bone: Tyler Brayton

The knee to the groin is the one thing every angry man wants to do to whoever he is angry at.

Few have the quickness to do it, few are enough of a jerk to even attempt it, but Tyler Brayton… he is both.

You could think of it as a very intense cup check, or you can think of it as Brayton forget people wear cups. Either way, he kneed a man in the nuts. Whether anyone will admit it or not, he got man creds for being bold enough to nut shot a grown man on national TV. Yet, people will admit he is the screwdriver in the box of tools.

Hurting with the Foot Bone: Yuri Zhirkov

HIYAH!

When someone gets kicked in the face, its either by Chuck Norris or Jet Li.

Yet, the lack of people getting kicked in the face in soccer is shocking. I’d think there would be a special colored card for kicks to the face or groin, beacuse if there was, Chelsea’s Yuri Zhirkov would have gotten it.

He Falcon kicked Manchester United’s Javier Hernandez in the face with some impressive flexibility, but some not so impressive aiming skills as his foot goes straight into Hernandez’s face.

If this was the Karate Kid II, that would have been an awesome thing to do, but since it was soccer, it wasn’t so awesome.

Conclusion

I’m sure there are other ways people have been hurt by body parts, but that search will be up to you, my friend. Comment on how dirty these plays are, or you can just tweet @JakePayneSports.

AND YES, I KNOW THE SOME OF THESE ARENT ONE BONE. I know there are some Princeton Pre-Med students here who will give me the lashing.

What’s the Difference?: MLS and English Premier

Soccer is not just soccer.

Being as fresh to soccer as I am, I got the suggestion to find out the difference between the MLS and the ever so popular English Premier League.

And so I did… and so I tell you now the difference.

One major similarity though is the strength of their crushing copyright policies, so excuse the lack of pictures.

Amount of Teams

Major League Soccer                               English Premier League

19 teams in two conferences                20 teams in one conference

Regular Season Scheduling

Major League Soccer:

A team in the MLS plays 34 games. 17 of those games are as the home team, 17 of them are as away.

The MLS system is like the NBA in that there are two conferences, the Western and Eastern. Since there are more teams in the Western Conference, they play one less in conference games and one more in out of conference games. The Western Conference will play four WESTERN conference teams four times, two times at home and one away. They will play the other four teams in their conference two times away and once at home. The home and away game amounts are reversed year by year.

So to help explain this, it would be like this

The Colorado Rapids could play the San Jose Earthquakes twice at home and once away, but play FC Dallas twice on the road and once at home. The next year, the Rapids would play the Earthquakes twice on the road and once away, but play FC Dallas twice at home and once on the road.

The Western Conference also plays 10 games against each team in the Eastern Conference. Five are on the road and five are at home. The teams that are played on the road and at home are reversed just like the in-conference games.

As for the Eastern Conference, the system is the same for in conference but different for when they play against the Western Conference. Some teams will play only four games at home instead of five, while the others will play five at home and four away.

English Premier League:

A team in the EPL plays 38 games. They play the other 19 teams in the league twice, once at home and once away. The only confusing part about the EPL and scheduling would be the concept of relegation. If you are one of the bottom three teams at the end of the season, you get basically kicked out of the EPL and placed in the Football League Championship while the top two teams from the FLC get promoted to the league while the third team is decided by a playoff between the 3rd-6th place team.

This rule doesn’t exclude anything, meaning that if Manchester United has a dreadful season, they could get kicked out.

The top four teams in the EPL get placed in the Champions League, but that is a story for another day.

What?: That would be like if the botttom 3 teams in the MLB in terms of records got kicked out and the top 3 minor league teams got into the MLB. Just imagine a year without the Astros, Orioles and Cubs.

Game Length

MLS and EPL: 90 minutes plus stoppage time.

What? Since the clock doesn’t stop in soccer, stoppage time is like “making up lost time”. That would be like if the clock didn’t stop running in football, and an estimate in minutes for how much time all the huddling and stuff was given at the end of every quarter.

Point System/ Making the Playoffs/Tie Breakers

MLS:

Point system: Each team gets three points for a win, one point for a tie and zero for a loss.

Making the Playoffs: The top five teams in terms of points in each conference make the playoffs. That means that there are 10 teams.

The fourth and fifth place teams play in a single game knockout round to play the first place team. Just like NFL’s wildcard system.

Tie Breaking: If two teams are tied in points, the higher position will be given to whoever has a better win/loss record.

If the teams are still tied, the higher position will be given to whoever has the better goal differential (goals scored minus goals allowed)

If the teams are still tied for some forsaken reason, the higher position will be given to whoever has the most goals.

EPL:

Point system: Each team gets three points for a win, one point for a tie and zero for a loss

Making the Playoffs: At the end of the season, if there is a tie that could mean the difference between a club getting relegated, there is a one game playoff between the teams in danger of relegation.

There aren’t really any playoffs for the EPL specifically. The team with the most points get the League Championship trophy while the top four teams get into the Champions League for the next year, which consists of teams from other soccer leagues. There is also something called the FA Cup that the Football League Championship and the EPL play in. Bottom line is that the EPL itself has no playoffs, but theres tons of other competitions that you can get into depending on your EPL performance.

Tie Breaking: Same as MLS

What?: Thats like if there were no conferences in the NBA, and the there were no playoffs. Instead, the top team got a trophy and there were many other NBA Finals like tournaments against Chinese and Spanish basketball teams that you could only play in if you did well in the NBA. So the Bulls would win the Championship trophy as of now, and would get invited to a bunch of other tournaments. 

Conclusion: So as you can see, the MLS and EPL aren’t too different, but that’s because there are a few players in the MLS who are on “loan” to EPL teams. That means that a player is literally loaned to a team, even while under contract with another team. Imagine how big of a pain it would be to these loan players if they had to learn different rules every time they went back and forth across leagues. Its also to draw players from other countries, who would be lost if we had different rules and would have less of a reason to come.

What?: Loaning is like if the Chicago Blackhawks put Andrew Shaw on contract, but put him on loan to a CHL team for a while. He’s still on the Blackhawks… hes just on loan.

 Landon Donovan was on loan to Everton for a while from the LA Galaxy.

Conclusion to the Conclusion:

That’s right, I just dropped the soccer knowledge. No but I just read the rule books for each league. The MLS one is really short, while the EPL one is detailed as ever. If you want to read them yourself or if you have any thing you need clarified, comment or tweet me @JakePayneSports.

Swami Sez: 2012 Stanley Cup Playoff Predictions

I love playoff hockey.

I love it so much, that I awoke from a dream where I choose correctly everything that has to do with the playoffs.

I love you guys so much, that I decided to share my picks with you for the Stanley Cup playoffs.

Western Conference

#1 Canucks                       vs.                                 #8 Kings

     

Verdict: Canucks in 6

Status: WRONGGGGGGG; Off by 1 game

Reaction: I am in total shock the Canucks buckled under pressure this early. They had too many penalties, too many missed chances, and too many stupid goals let in. That said, the Kings seemed to buckle under the Canucks, but they always grabbed back the momentum somehow. They also seemed to get under the Canucks skin (shocking right?). Hats off to Jonathan Quick though, he played very good goalie.

Reasoning: The Kings are still too young, in my opinion, to dethrone the Canucks. They are too good to just lay down in 4 or 5 games as the Canucks steamroll them, but the Canucks are just a little too experienced to lose to the Kings. Jonathan Quick is a solid, but hes going to get a lot of work in against a very offensive Canucks team… who, might I add, won the Presidents Trophy again…

              #2 Blues                              vs.                           #7 Sharks

 

Verdict: Blues in 5

Status: Flawless Victory

Reaction: It played out like I thought it would. The Sharks inconsistent offense was crushed. The Blues played aggressive defense and let the Sharks only have one game. Niemi had hard time out there, and the Blues had their way with the Sharks. I said the Sharks didn’t have the willpower to oust the Blues, and now you see I wasn’t guessing.

Reasoning: The Sharks lollygagged into the playoffs in my humble opinion. Their offense, which is very inconsistent, will be completely crushed by the Blues powerful defense. Seriously, the Blues are strong on everything defensive and in physicality, especially goaltending. The Sharks don’t have the willpower to outplay the Blues and will surely be turned into Shark fillet.

      #3 Coyotes                           vs.                    #6 Blackhawks

  

Verdict: Blackhawks in 7

Status: Wrongggg 

Reaction: This series comes down to just plain logic. You gotta show up if you are going to set up a show. The Blackhawks didn’t cash in on chances, Crawford dropped the ball when he needed to keep it most and worst of all is that cursed Power Play. On the other hand, Phoenix converted on anything they could get while Mike Smith was on his AAAAAAA+ game. Grats on the first franchise playoff series win too Yotes, even though Nashville is next.

Reasoning: This is the most iffy series in the Western Conference. The Blackhawks are so deep and strong in everything but goaltending, where as the Coyotes offense can slow a bit, but their defense and goaltending is solid. This game will depend on Crawford’s mindset and Toews comeback ability for the Blackhawks, and Shane Doan/Vrbata’s energy for the Coyotes. It’ll go to 7, but the true winner depends on many things.

                      #4 Predators                          vs.                                     #5 Red Wings

   

Verdict: Preds in 6

Status: Correct Winner; Off by 1 game

Reaction: This also played out like I said. I fail to think that the Red Wings wouldn’t win atleast one game in the series, and they didn’t lay down at all. They just couldn’t convert on chances like the Preds were doing. Pekka Rinne is one tough dude to score on, as the Red Wings learned, they also showed just how well rounded they were as well. I can honestly say without the Canucks being the 1 seed, this is the new 1 seed now.

Reasoning: The Preds being in fourth is an understatement to their ability. They really turned things around during the All-Star break. They are another very well rounded team in all aspects with stars like Pekka Rinne, Alexander Radulov and Shea Weber. That being said, the Red Wings, as displayed in the last game of the season with the Blackhawks, wont go down without a fight. Despite their recent slump, they will draw this series out, but the Preds will prevail.

Eastern Conference

          #1 Rangers                                       vs.                         #8 Senators

  

Verdict: Rangers in 6

Reasoning: The Rangers are iffy, but not iffy enough to lose the the Senators. The Rangers defense and goaltending can stand up to the fast offense of the Senators, the question will be whether their own offense can keep up. Can Gaborik and friends get it going against an iffy Senators D before the Senators start building up goals? All that will be answered soon my friend.

#2 Bruins                                          vs.                                             #7 Capitals

   

Verdict: Bruins in 4

Status: I am actually embarrassed right now

Reaction: I just got proven wrong. Holtby proved me wrong. Caps clearly were saving their energy towards the end of the regular season.

Reasoning: The Caps haven’t impressed me enough to think that they could even stand in the same room as the Bruins. They have a good young goalie in Branden Holtby, but I mean come on, the Bruins have a crushingly good offensive attack. A goalie who has only started 21 games in his career won’t be able to do much against a Tyler Seguin/Patrice Bergeron charged offense.

 #3 Panthers                  vs.                                           #6 Devils

  

Verdict: Panthers in 6

Reasoning: The party won’t stop in Florida. They quietly made much noise has they held on to the division lead for most of the year. They have an ok offensive charge in Kris Vereteeg, Tomas Fleischmann but they are very strong defensively thanks to names like Brian Campbell and Jose Theodore. The Devils are a very good team too, its just Martin Brodeur has been looking quite old as of late. It will be a battle regardless, but I think the team that I once considered irrelevant will make their case.

#4 Penguins                         vs.                #5 Flyers

 

Verdict: Flyers in 7

Status: Correct Winner: Off by 1 game

Reaction: I did not know this was going to be the story. I thought it’d be trading off series leads, not the Flyers smashing the Penguins, then easing off the brakes. The Flyers played with a heart that no other series had, and got a little help from a less than admirable goaltending job by Fluery. I’m going to save my full analysis for after the round 1 is over, but just… wow.

Reasoning: I cannot wait for this series. Both teams are very physical, very fast, every strong in every sense. This will be a tooth and nail series that will come down to the wire. What will make or break the series is the minutes Sidney Crosby and Claude Giroux get, the energy of names like Malkin and Hartnell and what state each teams goaltenders are in mentally. Whatever happens, expect this to be one of the roughest series you’ve ever seen… post lockout.

Stanley Cup Match Up

Blues vs. Bruins

Reasoning: You can’t see, but I wrote a paragraph on how the Preds were going to the Stanley and then deleted it. That was because I saw how little Rinne got any rest over the season. The Rangers and other teams that I considered alteast gave their #1 goalie some rest, where as if you look at the Preds schedule, it almost looks like Rinne was out like 4 times.

Anyway, the Blues are deep in everything. They basically have two #1 goalies and they have deep lines as well as the ability to play with aggresiveness.

The Bruins have been there, and done that. They have a semi-similar line up to last year with some new and improved parts.

STANLEY CUP WINNER

The Blues

MVP David Backes

Conclusion

Wow you made it to the end? Well I’m sure you’ve formed an opinion by now, so go ahead and comment or tweet @JakePayneSports.

5 Things You Should Never Do In Sports

There are things in life you should do, but there are things line life you have no business doing.

You don’t say dead mouse five, you don’t curse in an interview, you don’t go 80 in a school zone unless you are European.

Just like there are things you can’t do in certain places, there are things you just don’t do in and around sports. You’d be surprised by how many people violate these rules with an ignorant bliss that would make your head explode.

#1 Don’t mention a shutout/no hitter in progress

In some countries, this is actually considered a war crime…. well, it’s not but it really should be.

When a shutout in hockey or a no hitter in baseball is in progress, you shalt not say anything along the lines of,” Hey guys! (Insert pitcher/goalies name) has a (no-hitter or shutout) going in the (insert inning or period)!”

Both players and avid sports fans alike take this rule very seriously. Sure the pitcher or goalies performance doesn’t depend on you talking about their nono… or does it?

From first hand experience, I can tell you that the hockey and baseball gods strike mercilessly upon those who break this rule. I have seen many a no-hitters and shutouts broken merely seconds after some poor soul commits this sports sin. Not only will you look stupid, but if you are in a bar, you might as well write your will.

Ways around: If it really bothers you that you can’t tell someone that someone has a no hitter or shutout going on, you can say this. “Look at the game’s stats”.

#2 Never Say You Like A Team Without Knowing Atleast One Legend

Can you be an American without knowing any of the presidents?

Ok that’s kind of a weird question, but its kind of an unwritten rule that you must know at least one legendary player on your favorite team.

Like if you are a Cubs fan, you should probably have an idea of who Ernie Banks is. If you are a Packers fan, you should know Bart Starr.

It’s not an unfair rule at all. If you are a so called fan of a team, you should at least know more than just your wins and losses.

#3 Never Say “Its Over” In A Clutch Situation

When the Thunder are up on the Celtics by 3 with 30 seconds left, do not pronounce the game as over. If you do this, you are in a gamble with your life.

If the Thunder do in fact win, you are right and you can go home.

If the Thunder lose, people with throw the jinx tag on you and behead you in the town square.

Clutch moments and close games are so emotional and unpredictable, you could say what everyone in the room is thinking; yet there’s something about saying something so bold out loud that is just… bad.

So when these NHL playoffs come around and your favorite team is up by one with a minute left, just put your hand over your mouth. Don’t say anything that will draw attention to yourself in a negative way by pronouncing the end of a game before its actually over. Since nobody can go through the TV to beat up the other team in anger, they will probably take out their anger on you.

#4 Never Be Proud Of the Beginning Of The Season

Wow… the Yankees and Red Sox are 0-3. Wow… the Patriots are 0-4.

When you make a big deal about the beginning of the season, you are basically putting a dunce cap on your head.

While football can be a slightly understandable sport to have reason to panic or cheer, the other sports have a lot more games. What does 5 games mean in the grand scheme of things?

When there are 155 games to turn things around, people shouldn’t panic at how the seasons starts out in baseball, hockey and basketball.

Things like that are just so that ESPN has something to freak out about. In fact think about this.  If starts were the end all be all, then the Josh McDaniels Broncos would have made the Super Bowl in 2010.

#5 Don’t Use Old Accomplishments For New Arguments

Bears and Cubs fans… I’m looking at you.

Conclusion

The usual. Comment or tweet @JakePayneSports